Every year, even one as awful as this one, there is an endless supply of top ten lists, best of lists, and so on.  Whether it’s the best books, top ten movies, or favorite podcasts, every news organization has a list. But the lists are not limited to the media. Lot’s of celebrities make lists too.  Oprah has her annual list of favorite things. Barack Obama just came out with his favorite books of the year. And I expect his orange successor to come out with a list of top ten conspiracy theories (so many to choose from!) at any moment. 

Although I’m not a member of the media and I’m definitely not a celebrity,  I figured there’s no reason I couldn’t make a list of my own. But what kind of list? Movies? I don’t know that I could come up with even a half dozen movies that stood out for me in 2020. Books maybe? For obvious reasons I had lots of time to read and I did read a lot of books this year (50!),  but everyone does a book list. I needed something else. As I thought about the year, the now ubiquitous phrase “remote learning” stood out. While I can’t say that I learned anything remotely, I definitely learned a lot. So with a nod to ESPN’s Sportscenter Top Ten, here are the top ten things I learned in 2020.

10. I learned there is something to be said for living almost exclusively in shorts and sweats. Normally, I change into those very things immediately after walking in the door.  But now, I’m almost never coming in the door. I’m already there and already in sweat pants which saves a lot of time and I’ve used that extra time to finish my novel. Okay not really but seriously, how great is to rarely have to get dressed?

9. With no work to speak of, I had a lot more free time than in most years. But I had no trouble filling up my days. I stayed busy with exercise, writing, reading, and a few home projects. So I learned that I could retire tomorrow and still be super busy. But, I will not be retiring tomorrow. Financially, especially after this year, I expect I’ll be able to retire about three years after I die.

8. I learned a lot about grocery shopping, especially the socially distant kind. In the before-times, I made almost daily trips to the market.  I’d think up a meal, shop for it, prepare it, eat it, then repeat the whole thing the next day.  But no longer. Now I plan out weeks of meals, make a master shopping list,  and ultimately manage to avoid the store for weeks at a time. This is good because the other thing I learned is that if I need bell peppers (or whatever), no matter when I go to the store someone will be parked in that area for what seems like 45 minutes. In turn I find myself hovering (from six feet away of course), attempting to use mind control to will the other shoppers to move away, perhaps into cleaning supplies (unless of course I need cleaning supplies).  So ideally, rather than hours for people 60 and over, there would be hours for me alone. Trader Joe’s? What do you say?

8a. Possibly cheating here with an 8a but part of planning multiple weeks of meals requires ensuring there is an ample supply of wine and I definitely learned to be good about that.

7. Consistent exercise really does help you lose weight and feel healthier. Okay, I already knew that. We all know that. I know a lot of people packed on the “Covid-19” as they say. But the combination of lots of exercise and better eating (a direct result of better planning, see above) led to 20 less pounds for me to lug around and better overall health.

6. I learned that wearing a mask during those rare times when I’m out and about can save lives, possibly even my own. Unfortunately, because the super-spreader-in-chief chose to politicize mask wearing, not enough other people learned that and now we even have anti-maskers who don’t want to mask up because it interferes with their “freedom.” So I also learned I have no patience for those idiots. Nearly 350,000 people are dead. Put your fucking mask on and shut up or stay home.

5. I learned to Zoom. We all did. Back in the early days of the pandemic, when the liar-in-chief was playing it all down (it’s just the flu, it’ll be down to zero, etc.), we decided to shelter as much as possible. But we missed seeing friends, so like many people, we zoomed. And it worked well. We zoomed with friends locally and also from out of state. We’ve been zooming for the better part of a year now and it's been great. Here is what I learned. This is not new technology. We could have been doing this years ago with our out of state friends. I can’t believe it took a pandemic to realize that. 

4. I learned that there are way more racists, who by the way are not “very fine people,” in this country than I realized. I thought we were much farther along but this past year, indeed the past four years, has taught me that we still have so very far to go. 

3. I did not learn that we have amazing, wonderful, talented kids. Of course I already knew that. 2020 just reinforced it. Despite the chaos of the past year, the elder boy finished his nursing degree and has already lined up a job. And the younger lad has thrived running two businesses (photography and personal training). I could not be prouder of them both. 

2. I learned that I really miss working. Of course I miss having a paycheck. But more than that, I miss the people. Over the years, I’ve spent countless days on countless sets with some really wonderful people and I can’t wait to get back to seeing them all. This, in addition to a general lack of a trust fund, is another reason I won’t be retiring anytime soon. You can see some of those people here: 

http://www.jeffvibes.com/production-people

1. Finally, one more thing I already knew, I have the best pandemic partner ever. We probably spent more time together this year than any other in 37 years of marriage, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even after all these years, there is no one I’d rather spend time with and I shudder to think what this year would have been like without her.

That’s it. On to 2021. Happy New Year to all and here’s to learning new and better things in what will hopefully be a much better year for everyone.