Plan B

Now that the Supreme Court has told Texas to stick it, the Electoral College has voted, and even Mitch McConnell has acknowledged the Biden win, I think it’s safe to say the election is over. Again. Or still, depending on your point of view. Despite that, it seems unlikely the Loser-in-Chief will be giving up the fight. He’ll go to his grave claiming, despite all evidence to the contrary, that he not only won, but won in a landslide.  Sadly, this is nothing more than a fantasy. And while everyone has fantasies, most of them are not any kind of threat to our democracy.

While the Lamest of Ducks and his crack legal team, also known as the New York Jets of the law profession, are busy losing cases, the rest of us have lots of time to theorize about the reasons for this madness. After all, there must be something behind his desperate attempt to keep a job that he doesn't seem to enjoy and, let’s face it, since November 3rd, has barely even showed up for. One possibility is that his ego is so huge that he cannot ever admit to losing. At anything. That would certainly make sense.  He is the one who refuses to take responsibility for anything, so being unable to accept defeat, especially a soul crushing one of  7 million votes, would be right in character.

There is plenty of other speculation about this latest deviation from the norm. Some people believe he’s clinging to the oval office simply as a fundraising tool. Since the election, the world’s biggest loser has managed to bilk his supporters out of more than 200 million dollars, which begs the question, who is the real loser here? Still another popular premise posits that Individual-1 is terribly worried about the threat of jail time for tax fraud, obstruction of justice, campaign finance violations, or the overuse of spray tanning, the last of which is technically not a crime but maybe should be.

It is likely a combination of all of those things driving his desire to remain in office. But it has occurred to me that there might be still another reason. What if the Un-President (unfit, unhinged,  unelected, and soon to be unemployed) is desperate to remain in power simply because he has no Plan B?

Everyone needs a Plan B. Remember, according to tone deaf life coach and part-time faux-feminist, Ivanka Trump, all of us just need to “do something else”. It should be noted that Ivanka’s “something else”, as her stint as a playtime politician is winding down, involved the purchase of a 30 million dollar mansion.  That really is “something else”. But what if the soon to be ex-president has no “something else” up his sleeve? He must be thinking about it. It’s possible that between tweet storms, he’s been considering his options.

After apparently single handedly developing the vaccine and all, perhaps he could go into science.  Unfortunately, it’s possible that years of science denial (climate change is a hoax?) and the disastrous bungling of the pandemic response, might put a damper on that scheme. Similarly, it’s safe to say that medicine will not be any part of his Plan B either. After the truly dreadful advice concerning bleach, ultraviolet light, and hydroxyy-whatever-it was, the orange menace is probably not the person you hope to see in exam room one.

For a time, I thought that something called Trump Plumbing might be his next endeavor. How else to explain his preoccupation with toilets, shower heads, faucets, and dishwashers? But once again his past has put the kibosh on that. Someone who promises to drain a swamp but instead only manages to make things swampier might not be the best guy to call when your toilet (gold or otherwise) is plugged up. So Trump Plumbing is clearly out.

This list goes on.  Trump Travel?   Do you really want someone who has spent most of his time banning other people’s travel, now planning travel for you?

Trump Catering? Have you seen the spread of fast food the leader of the free world lays out for visiting sports champions?  

And so on.  In the end, the most important thing is not whatever he has for a Plan B, but simply that on the 20th of January, he’ll need one. And that more than anything else, should help the rest of us get on with plans of our own.