Keeping Score
According to the old saying, “those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach.” I imagine that someone (whoever it is that makes up these things) was just trying to be funny but in reality, I know plenty of people who “can”, and “do” and also “teach.” It’s also been my experience that an inability to “do” does not necessarily make someone a good teacher.
In an effort to be even funnier, Woody Allen took the saying a step further. He opined, “Those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach, and those who can’t teach, teach gym.” Funnier than the original but I also know plenty of excellent gym (they actually prefer P.E.) teachers too.
There is a sports version as well. “Those who can, do, and those who can’t, coach.” That one does seem to be a bit closer to being true. Bill Belicheck, for example, played football in high school, but went on to play squash (whatever that is) in college and seems to have done all right coaching in the NFL.
Finally, there is the Jeff Vibes version of the saying, which goes like this: “Those who can, do, and those who can’t, keep score.” While the accuracy of the other versions of the saying is debatable, that one hits the nail on the head. I “couldn’t,” so I kept score.
For me, keeping score was inevitable. While some kids inherit their parent’s great athletic genes, I instead inherited my grandmother’s scorekeeping ability. A devoted, lifelong fan of the New York Yankees (a fact I never held against her), she used to keep score on scratch pads and envelopes using a system that only she could understand.
My own first foray into scorekeeping was in basketball but it had nothing to do with genes or my ability (or lack thereof) to put the put the ball in the basket. Most of my friends were playing for a church basketball team. Unfortunately, I was not a member of that church (or any other) so I wasn’t allowed to play. But the coach, who was a great guy, let me keep score and from then on, I was on my way to a scorekeeping career.
Keeping score is not a glorious job. Obviously the scorekeeper doesn’t knock in the go ahead run or hit the winning basket, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have memorable in-game moments. One such moment occurred during a junior varsity basketball game in high school. I was the official scorer and as such was seated at the scorer’s table between the opposing teams scorer and the clock operator (a teacher who I’ve long forgotten). The referee made some sort of call that sent our coach, Mr. Crockett, into a tizzy. The ref managed to ignored the tizzy and play continued. But the tizzy also continued and Mr. Crockett turned to the scorer’s table screaming, “hit the buzzer, hit the buzzer!” The clock operator quite correctly had no intention of doing so. Fortunately for him but not so fortunately for me, I did it for him. The game stopped. Chaos ensued. After admonishments from the referees, the coaches, and especially the clock operator, the game and life went on. Later Mr. Crockett would admit he never should have insisted that anyone, let alone me, hit the buzzer.
My days of scoring basketball ended after high school but eventually I discovered the joy of scoring a baseball game. When our local little league needed an official scorer for the all-star games, I jumped right in. I did not however, use my grandmother’s secret coded method of scoring.
Years later when the eldest boy began playing AAU baseball, neither of us knew anyone on the team. My solution to that was a scorebook. In order to learn all the players, I sat in the stands and kept score of the games. As it turned out, it was a good way to meet the other parents too. Questions like “what’s the score or what did this kid do last time he was up” led to conversations and soon enough, thanks to my scorebook, I knew all the players and parents on the team.
Then in a subsequent AAU season, I found myself, along with my beloved scorebook, in the dugout keeping the book for the team. It was the best seat in the house and I loved every minute of it. I probably learned more baseball in that summer than in all the summers before combined and without my scorebook it wouldn’t have been possible.
Over the years, I’ve scored countless games and the biggest thing I’ve learned is that I really enjoy it. Even now if I go to a baseball game, I’ll either bring my book or keep score in the game program. And I’m usually not the only one. There are often lots of people faithfully recording the game using their method of choice. Those methods can be anything from my grandmother’s top secret system to one of the new apps on an Ipad (I wonder what my grandmother would think about that). I should say that I’ve tried scoring with those apps and while some of them are very good, for me, old fashioned paper is still the best.
And the next time you find yourself at a ball game, if you happen to see one of us in the stands awarding a hit or an error, just remember that we’re keeping score because we want to, not because of an old saying. And if one of those sayings pops into your head, try to remember this one: "Those that can, do, but without those that keep score, who would know about it?"
