Weathering the Storm
This weekend, record cold temperatures (this morning it was all of -4°) and yet another snowstorm are headed for Connecticut. Fortunately for those of us living in the Nutmeg state, “Storm Team 8” will keep us all informed about the latest weather news. Storm Team 8 is what the people at Channel 8 news morph into whenever there is a weather event of any kind. I always imagine they have a Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible kind of guy, poring over reporter’s photos and selecting just the right specialists to make up Storm Team 8. Then they brave the elements so we don’t have to and breathlessly report on every pile of snow they find.
Meanwhile, over at Channel 3 they don’t have a catchy, “Storm Team” type of name but they do promise “full team coverage.” I love team coverage because it involves a whole bunch of reporters reporting on the exact same thing, each seemingly trying to outdo the other. During a larger storm, it’s a given that one lucky reporter will demonstrate just how incredibly deep the snow is by standing in, rather than next to, a snow drift that goes up to their armpits. Maybe it’s just me but I always think they look ridiculous. This is also a surefire way to get onto a blooper reel somewhere and yet, I still see it all of the time. I can’t help but wonder how it comes to be. Perhaps there is a meeting where the boss says, “Erin, you cover the overturned truck, Pete, you’re on the roof collapse at the school, and Steve, I don’t know, how about if you go jump in the snow?”
It’s actually surprising that Channel 3 doesn’t have a name like Storm Team because they have a name for everything else. They don’t just have Doppler radar, they call it, “Pinpoint Doppler.” And when they want to go a live report from the van, it’s not a van, it’s an “Early Morning Weather Tracker.”
Strangely, even when it’s not early morning, they still call it the “Early Morning Weather Tracker.” By far the most confusing thing they do with names concerns the storms themselves. A few weeks back, when the latest “Storm of the Century” was barreling down on New England, the Weather Channel dubbed the storm “Juno.” But Channel 3, with their long tradition of naming things, decided to call it “Colbie” instead. This ultimately leads to a lot of confusion (which is the last thing one needs in the middle of a storm) because if one happened to be watching Storm Team 8, there would be no mention of either Colbie or Juno. Storm Team 8, (or maybe it was NBC 30?), went with the Blizzard of 2015 instead. It’s not that I care so much about the name of a storm, but I do worry that Channel 3 applies the same principles to naming their kids. I envision a very confused child known as Helen to one parent and Doris to another.
Of course as it turned out, and as is often the case, Juno/Colbie or whatever it was called turned out not to be the storm of this century or any other and the projections of snow Armageddon proved to be somewhat exaggerated. Again.
The weather people themselves, who gleefully report on fronts moving in or moving out, have long been fodder for comedians everywhere and I did originally intend to highlight them here. I’d planned a few barbs about the endless teases for upcoming weather reports and equally endless recaps of temperatures across the state when all I really want to know is how much snow is coming, when will it start and when will it end? I also considered reworking the old joke about being wrong most of the time without being fired but then something happened to change my mind.
I will no longer be taking shots at the weather people and their propensity for hyperbole. Nor will I comment on their uncanny ability to spend enormous amounts of time on screen without saying anything new at all. Unfortunately, it seems I’ll be forced to change my tune when it comes to the weather and maybe even the news.
Why the change of heart? It’s all because of my younger son, pictured above, who has been involved with his college television news station since his arrival on campus last fall. Up until now, his only interest in weather seemed to have been the desire to escape the New England winters, which he accomplished by enrolling at the University of Oregon. But suddenly, there he is, next to a map showing temperatures which are far warmer that ours. So now with a potential weatherman in the family, I guess I’ll have to cut the news people and their Storm Teams, and their Pin Point Dopplers, and Early Morning Weather Trackers some slack. That is, at least until he switches over to sports. Also, there is a storm coming and I do need to get out in my “Early Morning Food Gatherer” to stock up on supplies.
