A man in Nebraska is building a warp drive. A warp drive, as any good trekkie knows, is the fictional drive that powers the equally fictional starship Enterprise. He spends, on average, two hours a day, five days a week, working on his drive. That is a fairly lofty goal, which makes me wonder what his list of New Year’s resolutions looks like. Perhaps something along the lines of

1. Lose ten pounds

2. Remodel the kitchen

3. Invent the ability to travel to other solar systems

My own list is a tad less ambitious. And as usual, this year’s list will look a lot like last year’s, which looked a lot like the previous year’s, and so on.

In short, like a lot of people, I’m good at making resolutions but not very good at keeping them. Last January, when I looked back at my 2013 list and tallied up my resolution success rate, I was not pleased. Out of thirteen resolutions, I managed to achieve a grand total of four, or about 30%. I vowed to do better and made a new, improved list for 2014.

Admittedly, my “new” list was virtually the same one I make every year, but I convinced myself (as I always do), that this time I would pull it off. Unfortunately, although the year began as it usually does, with hope and optimism, it also ended in the usual manner, with despair and failure. Sadly, out of fifteen 2014 resolutions, I accomplished only one. For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that’s a 7% success rate. Perhaps you’re thinking the goals I set for myself are overly ambitious?

No. There are no warp drive type things on my list. In fact, most of my resolutions are the garden-variety, everyday goals that people have every year. Actually, it’s a shame I didn’t have “grow a vegetable garden” on the list, as last year’s garden was terrific.

But I digress.

I would add “less digressing” to this year’s list but I think we all know how that would turn out. Anyway, my list annually includes, among other things, weight loss, physical fitness, and writing more consistently.Each of those was attainable and yet there is no check mark next to any of them.

The one item I did get to check off was number 10, flossing. It’s not exactly warp drive but the fact is, I absolutely killed it in the flossing department. Its not that I flossed more often or most of the time, I did it every single day of the year. So while I haven’t managed to create a means of interstellar travel, my gums are in fairly good shape.

A writer friend of mine has a different approach to resolutions. He holds himself accountable by posting his resolutions on his blog.Then he updates his progress, or lack thereof on the first of every month. This is a gutsy thing to do but his success rate cannot be denied.Last year he accomplished 15 out of his 25 goals. This year, he is even more ambitious, and has come out with 31 resolutions. I expect he’ll accomplish most of them. I’m also sure if he added “warp drive” to his list, we’d be landing on Mars before Labor Day.

Although I do see the logic in it, I will not be posting my resolutions online. At this moment, the list is not quite final but suffice it to say that it will include the usual things that I’ve been unsuccessful with in the past plus a few new items that I’ll no doubt ignore. Or it might be that this is finally the year I get it together and check most of my list off. I definitely need to start accomplishing some things before that Nebraska guy invents the warp drive. And while it’s great that he’s set himself some really high goals, anyone can make a resolution.

The true test is pulling it off. Believe me, I know. 

I wonder if the warp-drive guy flosses?