Decisions, decisions.  We make them constantly every day.  Most are small mundane things such as what should we have for dinner, or should I wear the blue shirt or the red one, and so on.  But sometimes we’re faced with larger, life altering decisions like should I take that job in another state or can we afford this house or do I want paper or plastic?   Okay maybe that last one isn’t exactly life altering.  But those that are often require a great deal of thought in addition to the counsel of family and friends.  Unfortunately it is impossible to know, except in hindsight, whether or not we’ve made the right choice.  Some decisions will prove to be the smartest move we’ve ever made and others will turn out to be enormous errors in judgment.

In looking back at my own life, there are several big decisions that have proved to be life changing.  I’ve married, had children and twice moved across the country.  But what is the smartest move I’ve ever made?  I thought it through and getting married was easily the best decision I’ve ever made.  I couldn’t ask for a better partner and would without question do it again.  But then I thought, if getting married is the smartest thing I’ve ever done, what is the dumbest thing?  What is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made?  And therein lies the problem.  I’m worried I haven’t made it yet.

It’s not that I haven’t made mistakes. Like everyone else, I’ve made plenty.  But none of my numerous errors have been so big that I spend each day filled with regret.  This in turn has led me to another big realization, namely, if I haven’t yet made the big mistake, there is a chance it could come at any moment. 

Consequently this has lead to a sort of paralysis in my decision making process.  I’m suddenly unable to order a beer without worrying if the dreaded draft or bottle choice might prove to be the big mistake.  Driving has turned into a nightmare since every fork in the road could potentially lead to the big mistake.  I now find myself wondering if medium or medium rare is the right way to go.  And choosing a movie to see has become a herculean task.

In an effort to relieve myself of this burden I’ve tried, without success, to assign big mistake status to some of my smaller faux pas.  But somehow neither the purchase of the wrong size coffee filters or the decision to eschew lima beans fits the big mistake criteria, so my search goes on.

Even if you have made the big mistake, there is unfortunately no guarantee you won’t make an even bigger one in the future.  One needs to look no further than the world of sports for examples of this occurrence.  In the third round of the 2000 NFL draft, the San Francisco 49ers selected a quarterback named Gino Carmazzi who became neither a household name nor a quarterback.  Meanwhile, 134 picks later, the New England Patriots drafted future Hall of Famer Tom Brady.  This was obviously a big mistake by the 49ers.  Then in 2005 they did it again.  With the number one pick in the draft they chose Alex Smith, whom five years later has yet to prove himself.  Twenty-three picks after that the Green Bay Packers selected Aaron Rodgers.  While Smith was recently benched in favor of the third string quarterback, Rodgers has led his team into play-off contention. 

I could go on about the big mistake phenomenon.  For instance, while I cannot yet recognize my own big mistake, I seem to have no trouble identifying the big mistakes made by others.   But I am unable to elaborate on this as the thought that this column might itself be the big one has found its way into my mind and if I don’t publish it now I might never do it.  Of course not publishing it could also be the big mistake.  You can see the dilemmas I find myself in.  At least when the choice is draft or bottled beer, I still end up with beer.