I watched the Season 2 premiere of “Impeachment” the other day and there sure was a lot of talk about unity from the Republicans. That would be the same Republicans who only a short time ago were busy perpetuating the big lie from the big lame-duck president about the election being stolen. Maybe I’m crazy but subverting democracy does not sound like unity to me. Nor was it unifying to continue to support that lie even after an angry mob, egged on by the now impeached and soon to be former president, stormed the capitol building. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for unity, but I think it requires some sort of common ground. I’m just having a hard time finding much in common with any of these people, especially the right wing extremists who were whipped into a frenzy by the instigator-in-chief.  Nor can I find any commonality with the star of “Impeachment” (both seasons), who called the rioters “special,” or with white house advisor and part-time shoe saleswoman, Ivanka Trump, who called them  “patriots,” and definitely not with Florida Representative and full-time moron, Matt Gaetz, who declared them to be Antifa. Really? Antifa? As numerous people have pointed out, Mr. Gaetz (and others) actually think liberals dressed up as Trumpers to protest an election that liberals won? Brilliant.

Whatever you call them, none of these so-called “special-patriots,” who looked more like village idiots, seemed to be thinking about unity as they made their way through the building with their confederate flags (note to the idiots: the confederates lost) and their MAGA hats (they lost too). To be honest, unity was not uppermost in my mind either as I watched the destruction unfold (it turns out the revolution was televised after all).  

But any sort of unity will have to be a two-way street so I’ve decided to seek that common ground even though I have almost nothing in common with these people. By that I mean, I live in the real world, the one where the election is over and the orange man in the red hat did not win and it wasn’t even close; Also, I’ve been to Washington several times and never smashed anything, never killed anyone, and of course, and definitely never attempted a coup. Plus, on top of all that, I can spell. Nevertheless, there has to be some common experience that will put me on the road to unity. Perhaps my trips to Washington might be a good place to start.

For instance, the special-patriots have been to the capitol building and so have I, making it literally common ground.  True I didn’t have to scale a wall or climb through a broken window to get in, but you know, details, details.  Unfortunately our experiences diverge there. While the super-patriots were there to overturn a free and fair election, I was there as part of an advance team for a film crew. We wanted to shoot publicity interviews for a Nicholas Cage movie, while the idiots just wanted to shoot Nancy Pelosi. We wanted to hang some lights and they wanted to hang Mike Pence.  Sure, we’ve both been in the rotunda, but again my experience was slightly different. Their group was bent on destruction.  When our group was there, President George W. Bush, who’d taken office earlier that year, appeared seemingly out of nowhere and shook hands with the tourists in the building. Now, I hadn’t voted for Mr. Bush but I must admit it was still a thrill to be 6 feet away from the president.  I’ll also admit that were I to see the current so-called president, now the impeachment record holder, it would be no thrill at all, unless of course he was behind bars. 

It appears that finding things in common is not going to be easy. On a more recent trip to Washington, I did find myself sitting at the desk of a sitting United States Senator. So there you go, another point in common. Unity just like that.  Except, unlike the now arrested guy from Arkansas who parked himself in Nancy Pelosi’s office, I kept my feet off the senator’s desk.  And whereas he forced his way in, I was part of yet another film crew (it is what I do after all).  We were setting up to interview the senator at his desk and we needed someone to sit there for lighting purposes, so I was, well, elected.

More and more it seems that if unity depends on common experience, it might not be in the cards for me. Need more proof? We had equipment, they had equipment. Ours went through an x-ray machine and consisted of cameras, lights, and sound recording gear. No x-ray for them and they brought along weapons, zip ties, and for some reason, homemade napalm. After all nothing says unity like napalm. 

Just because I can’t find this elusive common ground doesn’t mean we should give up on it. In fact, I have some suggestions about things we might all rally around to bring about this unity that Republicans are suddenly so interested in.  

First, let’s all agree that 2020 election fraud is nothing more than a fevered fantasy in the mind of a desperate man. Next, let’s unify around not just convicting the instigator-in-chief, let’s make sure that he is never allowed to ever hold office again. Third, let’s do what we should have done months and months ago, let’s unite around getting rid of this virus. In other words, put on a mask, stay socially distant, and get everyone vaccinated. Lastly, maybe we could agree that the star of a reality television show, whose life resembles no reality that I know of, was not the best choice to sit in the oval office.

One other programming note, when season 2 of “Impeachment” comes to a close and you’re looking for something new to binge watch, I’ve heard that season 1 of “SDNY” starring Individual 1 is going to be great.